Hey all!
Its saturday night! I say this as if no one knew that it was a saturday night. Of course, you did. But why do I have to shout and tell you that it is a saturday night and what is so special about it? Actually, there is nothing special about it, that's the reason I am compelled to yell out my frustration.
The cues for this story come way back from my distant past when I was a kid. As a kid, I dreamt of growing up real fast and trace the lifestyles of the youngsters that I usually saw on the television, though we just had the Doordarshan which was also a door ka darshan for me most of the times. I grew up and did enjoy quite a lot of that which I dreamt of. While at college, I realised I have not done anything great and that I was capable of a lot more than what I was doing. This feeling persisted with me for quite sometime and and I guess, inherently it still does. Infact, that does kill me at times and robs me of the happiness that is long due.
As I said, I dreamt of making it big someday and just always dreamt and never quite worked for it except for the retrospections at the regular intervals.
In the mean time, we had the regular campus drive at our college (deemed to be one of the best in the state) and I got selected in the first company itself without any hassles and efforts. Inspite of all, it gave me a sense of relaxation and almost all in the campus got a reason to celebrate and celebrations went on until it was a year and time to leave college forever. All this time, we did not realise how much of time we had wasted which would never come back and when we did realise there was nothing much to be done. Then, there was this hope of being great at job and the feeling that I would go on to be a part of the best IT company in India. Vignettes of a life that had loads of fun, freedom, money, independence and all that I had dreamt of as a kid would come alive in my mind quite often.
Pretty soon after college did I get the call to join the company I was selected in. They did not even give me the time to feel bad for the fact that I have left college never to meet my friends fo life again. All hopes pinned on those late night parties, weekend trips, great colleagues and awesome fun at office that grown ups have.
Its been a year now that I have been working with this company and I haven't seen a great saturday night or an out and out fun filled weekend bash at the nearby beach with the new friends that I thought I would make nor have I successfully enjoyed my independence. Its a satrday night again and I lay on my bed struggling to sleep and wake up early for the early morning coaching class ( a struggle again to make it to a top b-school with a hope to get out of this boredom, at least to go to a college and make new friends) . I realise today that there is nothing great about being a grown up, just the urge to grow up and the time we spend growing up is exciting, nothing else is. Its all only about sour relationships, awkward moments, unfulfilled dreams (with a still a ray of hope like every cloud has a silver lining), stressed days at office, unworthy work, dull moments with not a way out and loads of time to retrospect and immense urge to turn back..........
Its saturday night! I say this as if no one knew that it was a saturday night. Of course, you did. But why do I have to shout and tell you that it is a saturday night and what is so special about it? Actually, there is nothing special about it, that's the reason I am compelled to yell out my frustration.
The cues for this story come way back from my distant past when I was a kid. As a kid, I dreamt of growing up real fast and trace the lifestyles of the youngsters that I usually saw on the television, though we just had the Doordarshan which was also a door ka darshan for me most of the times. I grew up and did enjoy quite a lot of that which I dreamt of. While at college, I realised I have not done anything great and that I was capable of a lot more than what I was doing. This feeling persisted with me for quite sometime and and I guess, inherently it still does. Infact, that does kill me at times and robs me of the happiness that is long due.
As I said, I dreamt of making it big someday and just always dreamt and never quite worked for it except for the retrospections at the regular intervals.
In the mean time, we had the regular campus drive at our college (deemed to be one of the best in the state) and I got selected in the first company itself without any hassles and efforts. Inspite of all, it gave me a sense of relaxation and almost all in the campus got a reason to celebrate and celebrations went on until it was a year and time to leave college forever. All this time, we did not realise how much of time we had wasted which would never come back and when we did realise there was nothing much to be done. Then, there was this hope of being great at job and the feeling that I would go on to be a part of the best IT company in India. Vignettes of a life that had loads of fun, freedom, money, independence and all that I had dreamt of as a kid would come alive in my mind quite often.
Pretty soon after college did I get the call to join the company I was selected in. They did not even give me the time to feel bad for the fact that I have left college never to meet my friends fo life again. All hopes pinned on those late night parties, weekend trips, great colleagues and awesome fun at office that grown ups have.
Its been a year now that I have been working with this company and I haven't seen a great saturday night or an out and out fun filled weekend bash at the nearby beach with the new friends that I thought I would make nor have I successfully enjoyed my independence. Its a satrday night again and I lay on my bed struggling to sleep and wake up early for the early morning coaching class ( a struggle again to make it to a top b-school with a hope to get out of this boredom, at least to go to a college and make new friends) . I realise today that there is nothing great about being a grown up, just the urge to grow up and the time we spend growing up is exciting, nothing else is. Its all only about sour relationships, awkward moments, unfulfilled dreams (with a still a ray of hope like every cloud has a silver lining), stressed days at office, unworthy work, dull moments with not a way out and loads of time to retrospect and immense urge to turn back..........
